To work or not to work

Whatever happened to Jenn's art teaching?

Sorry I haven't been posting in the last couple of weeks.  Some major decision making on my part has taken up all the brain space I have right now.  Once we got Jack out of surgery and the other kids finished school, I was hit by some major work changes.  I am scheduled to go back to work to teach in September.  At first I was looking forward to it, thinking it would be great to go back to teach high school art again, a job that combines a real passion to create artistically and working with teens which is something I have always loved to do.  Now come the BUTS.  As of the first week in June, I was scheduled to teach art.  On June 16th a lot of what I was scheduled to teach suddenly changed because the principal thought I could better meet the school's needs elsewhere.  I have had a meeting with him and a couple of discussions, emails but we seem unable to come to an agreement.  And since he is the boss...I am now supposed to be teaching 2 art classes and a geography first semester and a sundry of other classes not including art second semester.

Needless to say this dramatic change and difficult start with my principal has brought on tremendous stress and a period of questioning for me.  To work or not to work?  Maybe the question should be more clearly:  to go back to my job as a teacher or not?  At different moments in one day I can be ready to resign or go forward and just do it.   I wish that I could be one of those moms that could just choose to stay at home with the kids, but I find I need something more: an outlet for creativity and professionalism that does not revolve around children, play dates, therapy appointments, laundry, cooking meals, etc.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom.  I love my children and my husband more than life itself.  It is about striking the right balance for me to continue to love and serve my family but also be renewed in my own person by doing the things that feed my soul.  Either way, I need a vision for the way forward and I need it quick.  I want to enjoy this summer with my kids being fully present in heart, mind and body.

That being said, I am not sure going back to teaching is the answer.  There are many ways I could begin to pursue my career as an artist and teacher.    But this job has been waiting for me.  Held for me.  Should I just decide to go ahead and try?  Or do I decide this is too stressful for me and my family and not try at all?  Will I regret my decisions?

At the same time,  I feel like we take everything so seriously.  Don't you?

At the risk of being to serious today, I will end my post here.  Just wanted to let you know why I have been so silent.

Jack is doing well with his eye pressures.  Rob took him to Sick Kids last Monday and his pressures were high at 27 but we have now started him back on some pressure lowering drops.  His doctor seems unconcerned and that his recovery is right on track.  The stats say that 50% of children usually need to start drops again after implant surgery.  So maybe Jack falls into this statistic.

When I haven't been ironing out work issues, we have been having fun keeping summer hours riding our bikes, swimming, learning to sign and doing some new oral motor therapies with Jack.  Jasmine is now riding her bike without the training wheels on the road out in front of our house.  Only when one of us parents can have eyes on her and the road as well.  Levi can ride without training wheels but prefers the comfort of having them still.  He wants a skate board for his birthday.  We are a family with lots of summer birthdays so it should be a happening summer!

Hope you are having a great summer too!